Eala Chapter 22
I feel lighter after telling Edward what happened to me in that hell hole. I sigh as I snuggle closer into Edward’s side. I feel safe, and for the first time, I feel okay. I feel the glimmer of hope.
Edward’s breathing has changed, signaling that he’s waking up. “Mmm, I like waking up to you snuggling like this.” He turns over, engulfing me in his arms and breathing in my hair. “Dea-mhaidin, grá.”
I giggle; wow, I’m giggling. “Morning, dathúil.” I can feel how hard he is against my stomach, and without even thinking about it, I grind against him.
He hisses in my hair. “Gra, you are treading a dangerous line.”
Feeling good and normal for the moment, I take advantage and grind into him more. His hands go to my hips, gripping them tightly. I can’t help but moan loudly.
“Shit.” He flips me onto my back and hovers over me, his eyes sweeping up and down my body. They land on mine as he studies me.
Before any insecurities creep in, I lean up and kiss him, slowly slipping my tongue along the seam between lips, wanting entry that he gives me instantly. I fall back onto the mattress with his full weight on me. Our kissing is greedy, our hands everywhere as they get reacquainted with each other’s bodies.
“Fuck, leanbh, I want you so bad.” He grinds into me hard, making me arch and hiss.
I try hard not to overthink anything. “Please, dathúil.”
He studies my eyes; he must see my resolve, because he begins to undress me and himself. Once we’re naked he kisses me slowly as he inches himself inside my body. It feels like my first time all over again, and I tense up as he enters me.
“Leanbh, do you need me to stop?”
My eyes open and take in his expression, showing nothing but concern and love.
“No, please don’t,” I beg, bringing him down to kiss me.
He moans into my mouth as he enters me fully. I relax, wrapping my legs around his waist to push him into me, signaling that he needs to move. He starts off slow and sweet, nuzzling my neck and brushing his lips against my collar bone. My sweat mixes with his as he starts to pick up his pace.
There is no sound but our moans echoing in our room. His rhythm becomes sporadic, signaling how close he is to his release. I reach between us and start rubbing my clit so I can come with him. My body begins to tense, and as he comes, I orgasm with a loud moan.
He rolls off but pulls me to his chest, breathing heavily. “Fuck, I almost forgot how fucking good you feel.”
I can’t help but snort. “You are so fucking stupid.”
I feel some doubt and insecurities wanting to creep in and ruin this moment. My chest tightens and tears well up. Edward must feel the change, because he kisses my forehead.
“Tá tú an solas i mo shaol dorcha.”
“Agus tá tú mianach.” I curl into him, crying into his chest.
He rocks me back and forth as he always has; with so much love.
“I’m sorry,” I sob, feeling so fucking weak.
I hear a growl from deep in his chest. “Don’t ever be sorry, gra. You are the strongest fucking person I know. Don’t ever be sorry for being human.”
I calm down a few minutes later, feeling stupid for my breakdown after having sex with my fiancé. I know I should probably see someone professionally; we have someone in the family that is safe for me to speak with, but everything inside me screams out against it.
I just want to be who I was before him.
Weeks after Christmas, I find myself in a therapist’s office because I had a melt down at the bridal shop and nearly killed Alice. I don’t know what happened; we were all doing well picking out bridesmaids dresses for Angela and Rose when Alice got on her phone and something in me snapped.
Without thinking I whipped out my gun and shot her in the hand. My next target was her head, but Edward pinned me to the floor and wrestled my gun from my hand before I could take the shot.
It was decided that I needed more help than he could give me, which is what landed me in front of the family psychiatrist, Dr. Black.
“What is going through your mind right now?” his deep voice snaps me out of my head.
I look at him; he’s Native American with long, dark hair flowing around his shoulders and age lines around his mouth and brown eyes.
I take a breath, trying to calm my voice. “I was thinking how annoyed I am to be here.”
He chuckles. “Noted. Why don’t you want to be here, though?”
I close my eyes. “I hate feeling weak.”
“Why do you think you’re weak for coming here?”
My eyes open and I see him peering at me with curiosity. I look away, feeling shame spreading throughout my veins. “I’ve been on my own since I was sixteen. I have survived my dad dying and having to live on my own. Getting my pub going. I don’t know why this is affecting me so much.” I growl at the end because I can feel the tears begin to swell in my eyes.
I hear him hum. “Let’s start with your dad.”
An hour later, I walk out to find Seth and the merry band of guards. I know Edward would be here himself, but he’s been working a lot with all of the families and new alliances, making sure to keep everything running smoothly. The guards surround me as they walk me to the big armored SUV, taking me to Eala, where I start making schedules and signing paychecks.
I lean back in my chair, remembering when this place was my home, how nothing could stop me from being here. Instead, here I am trying to keep my lunch down, trying to keep my hand from shaking when I sign the checks.
I close my eyes, listening to the music pumping from the main floor, the patrons laughing and talking, glasses clinking.
My body begins to relax, my mind clearing.
“Bella, babe,” Angela’s voice breaks my concentration.
I clear my throat. “Yeah.” I go back to signing the checks, trying to pretend I wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack.
“Can you walk around the floor with me?”
I look up from my desk and stare at her and she stares back. I know what she’s trying to do. I don’t think I’m ready, but I can’t back down.
Standing up, I follow her out to the crowded bar. My eyes are flicking to everything, making sure no one can sneak up on me.
“The new staff is working out pretty well. Ben thinks we can afford to add another manager and maybe another waiter.” Angela is trying to talk to me, but I can’t focus on her as my eyes spot a table that needs bused.
I find myself gathering the empties and taking them to the back and grabbing a rag and wiping the table down. I don’t know how I wind up working the floor, getting drinks and cleaning tables. I even talk to some customers. I find myself not thinking about anything but the pub. I find myself interacting with Angela and the workers as if nothing ever happened.
It isn’t until I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up that I quickly turn around and see Edward watching me with a small smile.
I can’t help but smile back. My legs take me straight to him, wrapping my arms around him.
“Have a good day, gra?” He smirks, putting his hands on my hips.
I look over to Angela; she always seems to know what I need. “I had a great day.”
Dea-mhaidin, grá~ Good morning, love
Tá tú an solas i mo shaol dorcha~ You are the light in my dark life
Agus tá tú mianach~ And you are mine