What's Love? Ch 12
Ten years ago
After the conviction of Marcus I felt myself change. I was not that happy girl that my dad loved so much. I had hatred and anger filling up inside me. I stopped going to Mike because he was talking about medication to help me cope, and I refused.
By May, I had been working on my law degree and engineering and networking as well. I had two new programs patented and ready to sell.
Jasper was still seeing Mike and doing better. After I stopped seeking him out, he began to come into my room to check on me. He was still battling nightmares himself. He didn’t get into too much detail about what they were about and I didn’t push him.
I refused to be called Isabella anymore, it was a trigger for me because of the way Marcus would say my name. The first girl who was trying to torment me said it and I went off. I mostly spent my time trying to figure out how I could get the dreams I was having to subside. One of my working theories was, if I had a positive experience it would negate what Marcus had done to me.
I thought of Jasper as a good experience, since he was the closest human to me that I loved. He was strong and would be turning eighteen a week before my sixteenth birthday. He'd been working hard to get a place and wanted me to live with him. He was still in school, he wouldn’t graduate until the next year. It was sweet of him. I told him that I could easily afford to get us a place and to just save for a car. He wasn’t having it of course, typical male pride.
I didn’t get picked on as much anymore, it helped that I hacked into the foster system base and pretty much embarrassed all of them. Hey, couldn’t prove I did it, I was just that good.
But there was a party that Jasper was going to attend. I never attended those sorts of things, but I needed to test my hypothesis. Of course, when attempting to even get near the music I clammed up and walked back to the home and waited in his room.
It was only an hour before Jasper came into his room and he smelled of weed. His eyes went wide when he saw me sitting on his bed. “Bella?”
“Hey, Jasper,” I tried to use a sexy voice that I’d read about in the extensive research on how to seduce a man.
He came and sat next to me, so I took his hand and concentrated on the feeling I got touching him. It was a warm feeling, but not what I had read about when it came to attraction.
“Is everything okay, Bella?” Jasper's voice was quizzical and he was also staring at our hands.
“I wanted to try something.” Our eyes finally met and I leaned in quickly and kissed him hard. As far as my first kiss with someone of the opposite sex, it was disappointing.
Jasper quickly pushed me away, being careful not to hurt me. “Bella, I love you, but no, just no.” His voice was rough, with his accent more noticeable.
I could feel the sting of rejection, and the heat of embarrassment spreading through my body. “Okay.” I was thick with emotion.
“I can’t, Bella, you’re my sister. That’s the only feeling I have for you.” He put his arm around me and allowed me to cry.
“I just want to know how it’s suppose to feel. What it’s like when someone that loves you touches you. All I can feel is his hands, his tongue. I feel his hate, Jazz.” I cried harder as his arms embraced me, pulling me closer to him.
He pulled my face up to his, and I could see determination in his eyes. He kissed me, I felt his tongue on my lips causing me to open them and his tongue entered my mouth. Taking his lead, I did the same, wrestling for dominance and hoping that I was doing a good job at kissing. His hands tried to go under my shirt before reality hit me. I began to laugh at how awkward and horrible it was.
“Oh, thank God.” Jasper fell next to me on the bed and started laughing with me.
“I’m sorry, Jasper, but it really was horrible kissing you. Very much like kissing a family member,” I managed to get out between chuckles.
“I was trying to show you, but, yeah, it scarred me. I felt like I was taking advantage.”
Our laughing subsided. “I pushed you, Jasper,” I whispered.
“Bella, you are going to find someone who is perfect for you. He’s going to show you what love is.” Jasper found my hand again. “Everything will work out, you’ll see.”
I didn’t remember falling asleep next to him, but it was the best sleep I’d had in awhile. He was gone when I woke up. I quickly got up, checking my email to see if I had anything due from my professors. Seeing that I didn’t, I hopped on the bus to the local electronics store. I wanted to build Jasper a tablet and program it. It was going to be his birthday gift.
I walked in and made myself at home looking at all the different screens and everything I would need. While trying to decide on what I wanted, a young man approached me.
“Hey there, beautiful.” He had olive skin, dark hair, a lanky build, and he was taller than me.
“Hi,” I replied in a confused voice.
“What is a gorgeous thing like you doing with all this high-end equipment?” He picked up some film that I was going to use for touch screen capabilities.
I took them from him quickly, feeling annoyed at his comment. “I’m building something for my brother. His birthday is in September, but I want to make sure it's completely ready by then. It’ll take me a month to build it and maybe two to completely program it with everything.” I turned and began to walk away from him.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just weird seeing such a beautiful girl knowing her stuff. You are a geek’s wet dream, you know.” I turned to him, seeing he had a smile while checking me out. Something that Jasper has done to girls when I am with him.
“Okay.” I attempted to check him out, but I found nothing interesting in him. Nothing like that butterflies in the stomach moment that I’ve heard other girls talk about when being flirted with.
“I should take you out to dinner to make it up to you. What do you say?” He voice was sultry, I thought he was trying to be sexy. But I found no attraction. He was good looking, many girls probably have fawned on him but I could not find myself feeling that attraction. I should probably take the time to see if I could become attracted.
“Sure.” We quickly exchanged names and numbers, and I gave him my address to pick me up Tuesday for dinner. His name was Eric Yorkie.
In a daze, I managed my way back home. I was having my first date ever. I began to smile a little, Bella Swan was going on a consensual date.
I got to my room and began working on Jasper's gift, I wanted it to be perfect.
Tuesday arrived quickly and I was a bundle of nerves. Jasper was happy, or so he said, but I felt he was bothered. He wouldn’t leave me alone all day. When five forty-five came around, I was in a navy blue summer dress with a little makeup that Angela helped me with.
Angela had to help calm Jasper down, he seemed to be upset with how I looked. I thought I looked rather beautiful thanks to Angela helping.
“He’s just doing the big brother thing. He doesn’t want to see his baby sister on a date,” Angela tried to explain to me.
“I don’t fully understand that concept, but since we have just started to define our relationship I suppose I have a lot to learn about the dynamics.” I heard her chuckle a little as I waited by the front door. Jasper was on the other side, not really looking at me but out the window.
“Do you know where you’re going?” he asked me in a frustrated tone.
“No,” I answered in kind.
“Well, I’m going to find out, then I’m going to let him know you have to be back by nine.”
I huffed, not really thinking it wise to respond. My rational side said he was just being protective. After everything, it’s probably a natural thing for him. But the teenage irrational part wanted to call him a few names that I have learned the past year.
Eric knocked on the door, and before I could react, Jasper already had it open and glaring down at him.
“I’m Jasper, Bella’s brother. I need to know where you’re taking her?” His voice was very brisk.
“Um, I was going to take her to Applebee’s.” I could tell by his voice he was slightly frightened.
“Okay, I expect to see her back here at nine. If you don’t have her here by nine exactly, I will have your balls on my nightstand.”
“Jasper,” I finally found my voice. He looked at me and I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster. It was my first date, and he was threatening him.
He just looked at me, he didn’t register or acknowledge my irritation.
“I can do that.” Eric finally looked at me and his eyes were wide. “Wow, Bella, you look great. I am one lucky guy tonight.” His smile seemed genuine, but I saw something in his eyes and features that gave me an odd feeling.
Eric was wearing a nice pair of slacks and white button down shirt. He looked very nice and handsome but I still didn’t feel any attraction.
“Thank you, Eric. I’m sorry for my brother’s behavior. He is just very protective of me. Especially because of recent events that have happened in our lives.”
“No hard feelings.” He took my hand, leaving an upset Jasper at the door. Eric, letting go of my hand, opened the door for me. My first date, and I felt nothing. I might be broken.