A Woman Of Conviction
Chapter 1
BPOV
When I was eight, my mom died. My father became a
shell of a man. I lost both my parents that day.
I was lost and alone, taking care of a man that
stopped acknowledging me. That’s how I became a mother of two by the time I was
sixteen. Their dad Jake was three years older than me and gave me the affection
I craved so much at the time. When I become pregnant and gave birth at
fourteen, Jake stood by me and my dad began to try with me. He helped watch
Lucian so I would stay in school, and Jake would also stay at night so I could
get some sleep. My father hated him with a passion I had never seen, but tolerated
him for my sake and Lucian’s, too.
It wasn’t until I was pregnant with Damon at sixteen
that I realized Jake wasn’t what I thought he was. He wanted me to get an
abortion. He didn’t want to be a father again. Charlie stood by my decision to
have Damon. He wasn’t happy at all that I was pregnant again, but he still
helped me get through school while Jake began to disappear for days, then
weeks. He was ‘away for college’ to try to better himself for his boys. The
same boys he refused to see when he did come into town.
I graduated at the top of my class, and was planning
on going to community college when Charlie dropped the bomb that he was no
longer going to help me. According to him, I was eighteen and a parent; I
needed to move out and figure it out on my own.
I was crushed that my father would do that to me. He
gave me two weeks to get out of his house.
I was lucky; I quickly found a diner job in Seattle
and a one bedroom apartment for cheap that wasn’t too far from where I was
working. Taking what I could, my four-year-old and two-year-old moved with me
and I’ve never looked back. I’ve struggled every day since to give my boys what
they need. Jake wasn’t helping me at all; even if he did show up he wanted
money. I hated him so much, but even more I hated myself for loving him and
wanting him to be the father that Lucian and Damon needed. But he will never be
what we need, because he wants to party and screw every female that walks.
I look at my twenty-four-year self in the mirror. My
hair is long and lifeless from all the neglect, and brown like muddy water. My
eyes match my hair in dullness and color; they have sunken in my face from all
the meals I have had to skip to make sure my babies have what they need and
that they eat. I look older due to the stress of figuring out how I’m going to
pay rent and get the boys the clothes they need for school the following month.
I strip my work clothes off and neatly fold them on
top of the broken toilet lid that the super still hasn’t fixed since we moved
in six years ago. I hiss when the hot water hits my back, then my body adjusts
and it begins to feel good to wash the grime of the day off. As a ritual, I
begin to cry. I cry for my kids’ futures, I cry for myself and the situation I
got myself in. I cry from the stress of everyday life. Feeling the water turn
from hot to warm, I know I’d better finish quickly before it gets any colder.
I throw on a well-worn robe that was once my mom’s. It
has long since lost her scent and the warmth that it used to give me. I tiptoe
out of the bathroom and open the bedroom door to peek in on my boys. Lucian’s
shaggy brown hair is sticking up everywhere; I can’t believe he’s ten already.
He’s a sweet boy, and so smart I should put him in a special program, but I can’t
afford it. I look over to Damon and smile at how he is sprawled out snoring; he
has more of a meaty build, where Lucian is tall and lanky. Damon unfortunately
has his father’s temper and fights all the time, sticking up for his brother
because Lucian won’t do it himself.
I quickly kiss their foreheads and shut the door
quietly so I don’t wake them. I try to get myself comfortable on the couch that
has been in the apartment since we moved in. I drift off dreaming of a better
life, hoping when I wake up it will be a better day.
But when I wake up we are still in the shitty
apartment with screaming neighbors.
“Mom,” Lucian whispers. I turn to his door where he is
standing in his Iron Man PJs that are too short for his long limbs. He pushes
his glasses up his nose. He needs a new pair that are fitted to his face
better.
“Yes, baby.” I yawn, sitting up and waiting for my son
to ask me what he needs.
“Is there enough breakfast for all of us this
morning?” He doesn’t meet my eyes. This is a conversation we have most
mornings, since he notices my lack of eating with them.
I wave him over to sit with me. He quickly responds,
tucking into my side. “I have pancakes for breakfast this morning, and milk.”
“So, you’ll join us then?”
“Yes, I’ll eat with you boys this morning.” I kiss the
top of his head.
He gives me his biggest smile, showing all his teeth
and dimples. My heart fills so much, I want to cry that I was able to make him
this happy.
Together we get all the ingredients and make pancakes.
I love cooking with my kids, teaching them a viable life lesson. Damon finally
wakes up wearing only his Paw Patrol underwear and a goofy grin. “I smelled
pancakes.”
We eat breakfast and get ready to go, since I have a
shift at the diner today. I love the job in the sense that the boys can hang
out there while I’m working, and I love talking to the customers.
We get to Paul’s Diner and I sit them down in a
secluded booth with some toys and books to keep them entertained. I quickly get
to the back so I can prepare for my shift.
I see Tanya already here with her apron on. She is
tall, all legs, with strawberry blonde hair neatly pinned to the top of her
head. She’s gorgeous.
“Bella!” Tanya sings my names when she sees me.
“Tanya!” I sing back to her while tying my apron
around my waist.
“How was your night with my two favorite men?” she
asks me as she throws some dishes in the sink to be washed later.
“Good.” I smile, because nothing makes me happier than
my kids. Tanya knows all about me and my life.
“You need some tension release, girl.” She smacks my
ass. “If you ever want to come over to the other side, I will be the first one
to help you out.” She puckers her red coated lips, making kissing sounds at me.
“I’m sure Irina would be a little upset with you for
that comment.” I laugh at her antics and throw a dish towel at her head that
she catches with ease.
“Shit, Irina would want to join in.” Tanya laughs
while walking out of the back area.
I snort to myself. She and Irina became my closest friends,
basically my family, when I moved here. Tanya trained me when I first started
here at the diner. She was flirtatious and fun, and she gave me advice and
confidence when I was feeling low. She and Irina have been in love since high
school. Irina is going to school to be a lawyer and Tanya wants to be a nurse.
But they agreed that Irina would start her career first, then Tanya can start
hers. They have all their shit together.
I see Seth pop his head in the door to the back room.
“Bells, Paul is going to be coming in today.”
“Shit,” I sigh. I’m grateful that Paul he gave me a
job when no else would, but he‘s also a creep that can’t keep his hands to
himself. He mostly likes to be in my personal space smelling my hair. He
doesn’t mind that the boys hang out, either, but I don’t want them seeing how
inappropriate he can be.
Trying to make myself useful, I get started taking
tables for the rush. I make sure the boys have some food to eat when lunch
comes around. They behave so well for me when I’m at work that I barely need to
check on them more than once an hour.
Around one thirty things slow down. I hear the bell
above the door ring, telling me more customers have arrived. I look up to see
some very business-professional looking people. I can’t help but stare at them;
we never get people like them in the diner what with it’s certain run-down
charm.
There are three gentlemen; a hulking linebacker with
curly dark hair that’s laughing, a tall, shaggy blonde guy with a basketball
player build, and finally, a copper-haired guy that looks like he just got out
of bed and ran his fingers through it, wearing a scowl on his face as they take
a seat. The women accompanying them are just beautiful; one is short with a
dark pixie cut and a smile that lights up the room as she takes in her
surroundings. The other one is tall with lengthy blonde hair and is smirking at
the scowling man.
Watching them take a booth in my section, I quickly
grab menus for them. I glance at my boys, who are staring at the new-comers who
are just a booth away from them. Quickly, I get their attention and gave them
the ‘mom look’. Their eyes grow wide and they hurry to turn back in the booth.
“Welcome to Paul’s Diner, I’m Bella and I will be
taking care of you today.” I give them my best smile while I hand them the
menus.
“Hi, thank you,” the pixie woman greets me.
“We have Pepsi products, tea, and coffee. Can I get
you anything while you look through the menu?” I put my pen to paper, waiting
for any responses.
“Diet Pepsi,” Pixie orders.
“Do the Dew, please,” Linebacker laughs at his own
joke and the blonde scolds him.
“Jesus, Emmett, are you five? Diet Pepsi.”
“Sweet tea,” the shaggy blonde guy answers, eyeing the
pixie.
“Coffee, black, freshly brewed too, please. Also, make
sure the cup is clean,” the scowling copper-haired man demands in a tight
velvet voice without looking up from his phone.
“Jesus, Edward, I’m sure they have clean glasses.”
Pixie rolls her eyes at Scowling Guy.
“Alice, have you seen this dump? I can’t believe you
talked me into this shit.”
“Yes, our place has some character to it, but I assure
you that our food is amazing. Seth, our cook, is attending Seattle’s best
culinary school,” I defend the diner and Seth.
“Sure,” Copper guys says skeptically.
“I’ll just get those drinks for you.” I put my pad in
my apron and quickly go and get the drinks for them.
I keep taking a gander over to their table while I get
a new pot of coffee going. I notice Damon still staring with a troubled
expression and Lucian shaking his head. Over at the business table, Copper-head
is typing on his phone while the others are chatting to each other.
“Paul’s in his office,” Seth’s voice pops up from
behind me.
“Shit!” I grab my heart and glare at Seth’s smiling form.
“Thank you.”
I grab all the drinks and put them on a tray and walk
back over to the table. “Here we go. Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, do the Dew
for you, sweet tea for the gentleman, and your fresh coffee in the cleanest of
the clean cups, sir.” I keep my smile fun and cute while passing the cups
around. Most of the group chuckles, but mister grumpy raises his eyebrow as if
challenging me.
“Are we ready to order?” I keep with my chipper self,
ignoring his challenge.
“Yes, we are.” They all chatter away with what they
want, and then I get to mister cranky pants.
“I want a sub, pepperoni, salami, ham, mustard and
mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, and pickle on whole grain with provolone cheese.
Do you think your cook can handle that?” He hands his menu to me with a cocky
grin.
I raise my bitch brow with my own smirk. “I think
you’ll find your sub more than satisfying, sir.”
I walk over to the window to put my order in to Seth.
“Hey, for the sub give him the Bella special.” I wink.
“Can do, Bells,” he chuckles, knowing what I want.
Feeling good about myself, I go over to my boys and
check in on them.
“I don’t like that guy, Mom,” Damon noticeably points
to copper hair.
“It’s not polite to point like that, Damon,” I scold
him, pushing his hand down.
“I don’t like the way he was talking to you or looking
at you, Mom,” he grumbles with his arms crossed.
“Don’t worry about him, sweetie,” I kiss the top of
his head and walk back to the kitchen.
I get to the window to pick up my order for the business
group and smile, seeing that Seth did exactly what I wanted to mister grumpy
copper hair.
“Here we go.” I hand the orders to everyone, the last
one going down in front of him.
I wait.
I hear them chuckle and laugh at him. He just stares
hard at it, then looks at me with a confused expression.
“Did you seriously have my food made into a smiley
face?”
“Yes, sir, I hope you enjoy your food. If you need
anything, please feel free to ask.” I smile and wink and leave their table. I
check my other tables and the boys, and before I know it the business group is
stacking dishes, so I quickly get the check and take it over to them.
“I hope the food was up to your standards.” I put the
check down on the table.
“It was the best I’ve had. This is going to be my
lunch spot from now on.” Linebacker pats his stomach to drive his point home.
The others nod their heads in agreement.
I wait for copper hair to respond but he keeps his
face in his phone. They give me a credit card and I quickly run it and bring
their receipt and wish them a good day.
I start cleaning up another table and when I reach
theirs I nearly faint at the sight of the tip. Five one hundred dollar bills
with a note. ‘Best sub ever’
I
sit down before my legs give out. I can get the kids clothes and more
groceries. Someone upstairs is finally giving me a small break.
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